It must be the season, as I have seen tons of articles recently about how stress makes you sick. They usually begin with the author complaining that they were recently sick and asking: “what could I have done differently to avoid it?” The point of all these articles is that people’s lives contain too much stress or activity and that is what caused the sickness. If we would only slow down and listen to our bodies, we could stop the sickness. One woman even went as far as to compare it to a dog. Apparently a dog follows a certain behavior: he sniffs, circles and squats before, well…you know; and that is the “sign” that they are about to, well…you know. So, if we can just find and eliminate our sniff, circle and squat behavior before we get sick, we could avoid getting sick.
Well, I just had a cold last week. It started Wednesday with a tickle in my throat. Thursday, I had the hang-dog feel. You know, when it feels like your whole face just fell down to your knees and is just hanging there? By Friday, I was home from work sleeping in four-hour stints with about one hour awake in between naps. Saturday and Sunday I recovered slowly until Monday when I felt like my old self.
Why did I get sick? Was I over-stressed? Did I try to fit more into my day than I normally do? Eat wrong? Not exercise? Work too hard? Play too hard? No more than I do the other fifty-one weeks out of the year when I feel just fine. Maybe I should have taken more Vitamin C, Echinacea, or the wonder drug of the moment. Maybe I should have gone to bed earlier or sipped herbal tea. The whole time I lay there—weakened mentally and physically by the killer cold—I could do nothing but analyze my life in hopes of finding some cause for my agony. I guess you could say I was searching for my sniff, circle and squat behavior.
When I came out of my stupor, I got a little mad. Why it is that people just can’t “be sick” anymore? Why is it always our fault? How is it possible that our behavior can cause a cold or the flu to happen? I mean let’s face it, there are Kamikaze bugs out there ready to get anyone. They are not on the prowl searching for busy moms. They are ruthless and will hit anyone—kids, men, women, even dogs (yes, our dog was sick recently too)—indiscriminately.
People get sick. It just happens. Perhaps we can minimize the effects of a bug by eating right, exercising, and getting rest throughout the year, but when push comes to shove and the assassin flu bugs are on the hunt, you are as gullible as the next guy—just because you’re there.
It seems to me that to try to place blame for getting sick is a huge waste of time and resources. And the people out there who imply that our behavior is somehow to blame for a bug are unwittingly feeding the guilt flame: adding one more thing to the guilt list, right next to the fact that we haven’t clipped our kids nails in weeks and we fed them spaghetti again tonight. More guilt is definitely the last thing we need.
That isn’t to imply that self-care is not important. We should all try to stay physically and mentally healthy. But taking care of yourself isn’t a prescription to escape something out of our control, like kamikaze cold bugs. If these killers choose you as their next target, they are unstoppable. Rather, self-care is something you do for you—because you believe you deserve it and that by doing it you will be a better person.
So next time you come across one of those articles telling you how you can avoid the latest flu epidemic, my recommendation is to remember that sometimes you aren’t in control. You may get sick and there’s not a darn thing you can do to avoid it. Just accept it and try to sleep it off as quickly as you can. And if the articles still make you feel badly, you could do what I did with them. Lay them down in the corner and let your dog take care of them. A sniff, circle and squat should just about do the trick.
Sue Dickinson is the author of What’s a Mom to Do? Overcoming the Urge to Put Your Life on Hold and the creator of www.UnlimitedMom.com, designed to celebrate the many facets of Mom. Because when you recognize them all, your possibilities are unlimited! Contact Sue atSue@UnlimitedMom.comor visithttp://www.UnlimitedMom.com
