In Search Of The Brass Ring
By Sue Dickinson
copyright 2003
The other day I attended an all day seminar called “Get Motivated!” By it’s title, you can imagine that each of the ten speakers were filled with excitement and inspiration intended to catapult me and the 8000 others attendees to levels of success we could only imagine. We all left that day walking on clouds, sure that the brass ring was right there for the taking by anyone who reached for it.
The next day, I had 200 e-mails that had been sent while I was at the seminar and a pile of projects to deal with that kept me running all day. I had to rush from work to daycare and the grocery store to make it to a party scheduled across town (and we were still a half hour late).
The next day, I returned to the grocery store for a more lengthy visit, tackled the laundry that hadn’t been done in a week and a half, and attempted to weed out of the piles that had accumulated throughout the house over the week.
Somehow, from Thursday to Saturday, the brass ring completely disappeared.
Faced with a boatload of tasks and no direction as to which I should do, I did the logical thing and ignored them all. My husband and I settled down on the patio to enjoy an adult beverage and watch our son play basketball. Seeing our five-year-old struggle to get the ball up to the hoop, I realized I was watching a more inspiring example of motivation than any speaker could demonstrate. The hoop was high, but we didn’t hear him grumble that he couldn’t do it. When he missed, he didn’t whine or complain that it was too hard. He just ran after the ball, came back and tried again. And, when he made it, he whooped and cheered as though he had just made the winning shot at the NBA finals game. He was completely focused on the task at hand, never wavering from the goal of making the shot.
Art Berg has written a wonderful book entitled “The Impossible Just Takes a Little Longer – Living with Purpose and Passion.” When he was 21 years old, a car accident left him a quadriplegic and wondering what would become of him. Now, twenty years later, he shares the lessons he’s learned, including what it took to make his dreams come true: the simple dream of being able to make a peanut butter sandwich, the physical dream to scuba dive and ski, and the lifelong dream to become a public speaker. In the book, Mr. Berg gives his definition of motivation:
“What does motivation look like? Well, it doesn’t have anything to do with what you look like. It’s all about what you do when you are focused. It is the individual who quietly goes about his work, doing his duty, without the need for constant reassurance or praise. It is someone who does what he or she should be doing every day when it would be so easy to get diverted and do something more relaxing.”
And there I sat (relaxing) on the patio, watching my son demonstrate more motivation than I had in two days. True, what I did during those two days needed to be done. We can’t avoid our daily duties in the pursuit of our dreams. We need groceries to eat and the laundry must get done. But doing those tasks shouldn’t distract us from our objectives. Otherwise, when there is time to focus on our goals and plans (probably late at night) our motivation to go for it will be MIA.
Art Berg goes on to explain that focus is not a genetic trait. We have to concentrate and work hard to achieve the focus we need to overcome the distractions. But with practice, it can become a powerful habit that will center our goals and lead the way to the top.
We moms especially need to develop this trait. With the time it takes to work all day, care for our families and do the household chores, our dreams are accomplished along the edges in 20-minute increments. But that makes our dreams no less important. If we can focus on why our goals are important to us, we’ll stay motivated to use those 20 minutes to their best advantage. Don’t worry, the brass ring isn’t missing—it’s just pushed to the back of the picture. Focus, and you will still see it again. Keep your eyes on it, and you’ll grab it before you know it!
Sue Dickinson is the author of What’s a Mom to Do? Overcoming the Urge to Put Your Life on Hold and the creator of www.UnlimitedMom.com, designed to celebrate the many facets of Mom. Because when you recognize them all, your possibilities are unlimited! Contact Sue atSue@UnlimitedMom.comor visithttp://www.UnlimitedMom.com
