Get Rid of the Splinter
By Sue Dickinson
copyright 2003
There are certain times of the year, most prominently New Year’s Eve, when everyone is focused on improving themselves. New Years resolutions abound: everything from vowing to wear more skirts to the office; to committing to advanced education; or maybe even to trying for another baby! Everybody seems to enter the New Year with refreshed hope that all the wonderful things they dream could happen will really come true this time.
But is there something that you alreadyhavein your life that is holding you back? The other day I saw my four-year-old was limping noticeably. I asked him if something was wrong with his foot, but he replied“no.” This happened three or four times before he finally admitted that he had stepped on something and it had gotten into the bottom of his foot. If there is one thing my son does not like, it’s Mommy or Daddy having to remove a splinter. He was willing to put up with the pain of the splinter rather than admit that he had a problem. I couldn’t understand why he preferred the pain of the splinter to the solution. But he was in denial. He had talked himself into believing that the splinter wasn’t so bad; that it would go away; and that the pain would get better.
We laugh when we see a child behave this way. But do you have a splinter in your life that you are ignoring?
Maybe your health isn’t so great or you owe too much money. Maybe you are having family problems or are afraid to fly in a plane. I’ll bet almost everybody has something that they are choosing to ignore.
I have a splinter. But I’m not going to tell you what it is. And I won’t ask you about yours. Because I think the thorns in our life are too personal. It is easy to talk about our goals, our dreams, and our schemes. It’s fun to share with people our hopes for the future—especially when we have set solid resolutions to see them to fruition. But the splinters in our life are different.
For one thing, for a long time we just choose to ignore our splinters. We behave like my son did with the real splinter. We tell ourselves that it’s not so bad; that it will go away. We can handle it. So although it’s there, we refuse to recognize it.
But then there is a point in our life when we face the splinter. We realize it won’t get better unless we leave our denial behind, stop ignoring it, and act. Maybe we discuss it with people close to us. Maybe we seek guidance from a doctor or a support group. In fact, sharing the splinter with loved ones or professionals can be very helpful in dealing with the emotions we are feeling. But ultimately, when it comes down to the final solution, it is all up to us. With splinters, we can’t expect anyone else to solve our problems for us. We have to admit the problem is there, that it needs to change, and that we need to change it.
Brian Tracy said in his book“Focal Point”that one of the great life lessons we all have to learn is that“your life only gets better when you get better.”It is such a simple statement, but has a tremendous impact to our lives when we believe it.
It’s the time of year for making resolutions and we should all do that, looking forward to achieving our dreams. I have made several this year. But I have decided that this is the time to finally deal with my splinter, as well. I’m not looking forward to it. It will be much more difficult, and much more painful than going for my goals. But I think that unless I do face it, I’ll never be truly happy even if I do achieve my goals. Maybe in order to achieve our destiny we have to find the courage to first eliminate the splinters in our lives. And once they are removed, we are free to fly.
Sue Dickinson is the author of What’s a Mom to Do? Overcoming the Urge to Put Your Life on Hold and the creator of www.UnlimitedMom.com, designed to celebrate the many facets of Mom. Because when you recognize them all, your possibilities are unlimited! Contact Sue atSue@UnlimitedMom.comor visithttp://www.UnlimitedMom.com
