There are so many things about being a mom that I just love. One of them is creating magical moments for my family that will last a lifetime. As a single mother of two young boys I really try to be creative in the way that I love and raise my children. I want to raise them outside of the box so that they will grow up to be free-thinking, creative, and passionate people, like their mother.
I, myself, was raised outside of the box. It’s a good place to be as a child and even as a grown up, however, it isn’t always as easy to reside there when your commute is from the real world.
But I’ve noticed that it helps me to be the best mom I can be when I allow myself to live and think outside of the box. For the most part parenting is such a structured and routine job. It’s all about the day to day. I find that when I allow myself to be a silly heart and do the unexpected within the drab day to day, it is not only good for my soul but it is good for my children’s as well - to see that I am able to laugh and love with all of my heart, especially when life decides to play hard ball.
I don’t want my boys to grow up in today’s precarious world taking life so seriously that they forget to enjoy the little things, the best things in life. I want them to be able to laugh at themselves and to know that every day is a prize that should be enjoyed and preserved. It’s kind of like the prize at the bottom of a cereal box, except in this case when it comes to life and love, the prize is found just outside of the box.
I can already see what a difference my free-thinking attitude has made for my two beautiful boys.
It’s almost as if, at their very young ages, they hold the secret of life. I think all kids do. The trick is to ensure they never lose it.
Life is too short so when things get too serious at home I will stop whatever we are doing, turn on the stereo and dance with my boys in the kitchen until we are all out of breath. Some days it takes a little more coaxing than other days, but we have tripped the light fantastic to the likes of Alan Jackson all the way to ZZ Top.
There have been nights when I come home from work and the very thought of making a dinner fit for a king leaves me cold, so I will whip up a quick, big bowl of spaghetti and the three of us will each take a fork and dig in right there in the middle of the living room floor on a blanket (Ala Lady and the Tramp).
When the boys get too big for their britches and start to throw their weight around, I throw them off guard by throwing down with them and nothing cools an adolescent boy off faster than knowing little, old mom has it in her to put him in a full nelson.
We have danced in the rain, sang at the top of our lungs in the car, and had tickle fights until we’ve we had tears in our eyes. We have stopped on long walks to turn over small beetles that are stuck on their back, and we ourselves have lain stuck on our backs in the grass for hours to seek out extraordinary creatures and objects in the clouds. The greatest thing ever is when I am looking at my kids when they don’t know that I’m looking and I’ll see them do something that I, myself, would do - like stopping to watch the desert sun melt into the horizon at twilight, or stomping in puddles and dancing around in the rain like a fool while others watch from their windows. I’ll see them walk out of their way to avoid stepping on a parade of ants, or stop to turn over a helpless bug from its back. But the most amazing thing is when they will ask me to dance and they don’t even mind that it’s in front of a crowd of people whether it’s at a wedding or an outdoor concert at the mall. Very few people dance anymore.
My kids laugh, love and have fun not minding at all that most people are watching them from inside the box. I love that about them. And as much as I love it I know in my heart that it wasn’t by accident that they turned out that way.
The funny thing is my boys, Billy and Alec, who are on the precipice of teen-dome will often look at me like I am out of my mind when I decide to do something outrageous or silly in their presence. Sometimes they will even roll their eyes at me, a sure sign that they are reaching that wondrous yet ruthless age of puberty. But the truth is I know in my heart of hearts that they would not want me any other way.
There have been times when the boys expect to get scolded for accidentally breaking a dish or for spilling milk all over the floor and instead I will break out the hugs and kisses because there are worse things. I believe there is a time and place for discipline, but certainly not over spilt milk.
I have overheard friends of theirs telling them things like, “Your mom is so cool. My mom would never do that.” And I think to myself, why not? Why not play a game of one on one basketball with your boys in your heels after work? Why not teach your sons to dance? The girls will love it. Why not spend twenty minutes tucking them into bed and making up stories where they are the hero? Why not curl up with them when they’ve had a bad day and heal their tender spirit with a simple lullaby, even if it is their favorite song by the band Linkin Park? (So you learn the words.) It works, even when they think they’re too big for it. It soothes them.
“You’re nuts mom! But I love you.” Billy will tell me when we are two stepping to Tim McGraw in the kitchen or walking in the rain. I just look into those gorgeous green eyes of his and smile to him the secret of my success as his mother, and that is that for me the prize in life and love will always be found just outside of the box, a long with a few of us nuts. I may be an anomaly but I believe corn flakes are meant to be in a box, not your kids.
Natalie June Reilly is a single mom of two beautiful young boys, and author of the children's book "My Stick Family, Helping Children with Divorce"
