3 Ps To Make Your Resolutions Work By Sue Dickinson
Happy New Year! It’s the time when people everywhere look back on the past year, dream with hope of the coming months, and set resolutions and goals to help make it all come true. The slate is clean and anything is possible. It’s hard not to get caught up in the excitement.
Filled with this optimism, I was somewhat let down the other day to read that 50% of all New Year resolutions are abandoned by February 1, and 85% by July 1. How can this be? Should we even bother to make resolutions this year, given the fact that we have an 85% chance of failing?
After reading this distressing statistic, I pulled out my 2003 journal, and reviewed the opening entries, written when I was filled with the hope and excitement of a different new year. Man, did I make New Year resolutions! Exercise more, lose weight, read more books, cook supper more than eat out, conserve gasoline - you name it, I vowed to do it!
As I re-read each resolution, made with the full intention and desire to achieve its success, I realized that only a handful of my goals were actually accomplished over the course of the year. In fact, in line with the statistics I had read, probably only about 15% of my goals came to fruition, while the remaining 85% were abandoned.
Do you see the same pattern in yourself? Maybe you’ve been feeling a little depressed lately, thinking about everything you’d hoped to achieve this year, and seeing all that you had to abandon. It is certainly easy and normal to focus on that 85%, while completely ignoring your 15% success rate. And we moms especially tend to forget that our hopes and dreams are often accomplished in the nooks and crannies of an already full life. So in reality, any step forward is a victory.
My New Year’s resolutions for 2003 were many and varied, but as I reviewed them, I realized that the 15% of them that I actually achieved all had three things in common (I’ll call them the “Three Ps”):
Patience–I’m the first to admit, as I went through 2003 I didn’t have the patience to accomplish many of the goals I had set. For example, one goal I made was to prepare the ingredients for the next evening’s meal each night so that I was ready and willing to cook it up after coming home from a long day at work. Alas, I am finally realizing I will never have the patience for such a task. After dinner is finally put to rest and the dishes washed (if that even gets done), the last thing I want to do is start in on the next day’s meal. I don’t have the patience and because of that, I now realize it will just not happen. Thank goodness for the George Foreman Grill, if it weren’t for that, I doubt we’d ever have a home cooked meal.
Persistence– This goes hand in hand with “patience”. Your goals and resolutions have to be something that you are willing to work at – no matter how long it takes or how many set-backs you have. My unfocused, vague, goal last year to “lose weight” just didn’t pass the “persistence” test. The first time my husband came home with buffalo wings, all my good intentions flew right out the window as those wings flew right in my mouth. Persistence, against all temptations to do something more convenient or more enjoyable, is critical in achieving your goals.
But the absolutely most important “P” is the final “P”:“Passion”In order for us, as busy moms, workers, partners and friends, to make and take the time and commitment needed to achieve a goal, we must be absolutely passionate about the goal that we are setting if we hope to accomplish it.
For many years I have wanted to pursue my love of books and actually attempt to write a book of my own. I’ve said I would do it. I’ve jotted down notes and even prepared outlines. In 2002, I finally arrived at a topic that interested me, and committed to myself that I was “writing a book.” Months went by. I started at least a dozen times. I finally arrived at an outline I was happy with, but still, no book.
New Year, 2003, I finally committed to my passion 100%. I knew it would take time. I knew I couldn’t do it in a month. But, I thought probably I could do it in a year. I calculated what I had to do and how much I had to work on it each week to finalize it in a year. I hammered away in my spare time, and slowly started to make progress, one small step at a time.
Over the year I was patient with myself when I faced writer’s block and “Mommy duties” that were more important than my writing. I demanded persistence of myself when“Must See TV”beckoned me. Temporary set-backs slowed me down, yes, but I didn’t quit. Because I was passionate, I can now happily say that I was actually able to achieve the goal and complete my first book, just printed this past month.
The 85% of the goals that I abandoned over the year are forgotten and mean nothing. But (I can’t lie) when I allow myself to feel that final “P” for a job well done (“Pride”) on a goal that really mattered to me, the satisfaction I feel is immense. I would rather have the feeling of accomplishing that one goal over what I would have felt achieving all of the other of my failed resolutions combined.
So, maybe, just maybe, that is the solution to us constantly making goals that will eventually be dropped and ignored. If we can focus on setting our goals and resolutions to fit within the Three Ps today, we can increase our chances of achieving success and satisfaction over the year.Patience. Persistence. Passion.Concentrate on those qualities, rather than quantity, in your resolutions this year. And I know you will feel the Pridethat will result from your success. Have a wonderful and successful New Year!
